In 2013, Use Your Weekends Wisely

As college students, we’re busy as hell. At least for fifteen weeks each in the fall and spring. Juggling five classes and an internship and/or part-time work while trying to maintain some semblance of a social life is hard. And it can leave us feeling really burnt out.

For some college students, relaxing on the weekends comes easily — and means one very specific activity for them: partying. Then there are others of us. We’re workaholics, nervous about finding a job after graduation, or maybe we’re just biology majors. Anyway, for us it seems like giving up an hour of trolling the job boards or reading that 4″ thick textbook again would break our hopes of employment or getting that A. But the truth is, we need to learn to slow it down. We need to take better advantage of the weekends and other downtime, if we want to succeed.

Learn now to use your weekends wisely.

Time management expert Laura Vanderkam just released her book, What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekends, and in it, she offers up anecdotes and advice that illustrate the importance of — and how to — make the most of your weekends. While the answer to the question “What do the most successful people do on the weekends?” is not (necessarily) “Work,” it’s also not, “Nothing.”

The most successful people figure out what non-work activities are the most fun and fulfilling for them. They make plans and keep them. They don’t just sit in their pajamas doing nothing all day.

“To make the most of your weekends,” Vanderkam writes, “‘you tell yourself, look, what would make me really, really enjoy this day and kind of get me out of the normal routine and give me pleasure?’ Then say, ‘this is what I’m going to do,’ and come that time, be disciplined about that commitment, telling yourself, ‘this is my appointment, just as if it’s a doctor’s appointment or an appointment to go to work.’”

Reading her great little book, I realized that my weeks with my Grammy are always fun and restful because we do a lot of these same things. We plan things out a day or two in advance so there’s some element of anticipation, which is half the fun, and we do a mix of things. And I also get more sleep while I’m there, which is part of returning rested to your work.

Be sure to order a copy of Vanderkam’s newest book, which will help you make the most of your limited time in college and help you prepare for managing your time once you have a full-time gig.

Get Those Letters of Recommendation With These Tips

After 16 years or so of school, you’re in love. You can’t stand the idea of leaving the cushy confines of a university campus. Real job? Real funny, you say. You’re going to stay a student forever.

To do that, you’re going to need letters of recommendation. (And you could need ‘em for other reasons.) But how the hell do you go about getting them? Well, with the tips published over on InsideHigherEd.com’s GradHacker blog.

Among these dos and don’ts:

- DO ask ahead of time (way ahead of time).

- DO supply supplemental materials with the request.

- DO express your gratitude in some way.

- DON’T ask those who don’t know you well enough.

- DON’T demand, and don’t push if the person balks at your request.

- Rosella Eleanor LaFevre

Terrified of Making Presentations? Try These Tips

Every time I get in front of an audience and have to present, I get really nervous. My stomach quivers and I perspire. I stutter and frequently lose my train of thought.

Even if you know the topic like the back of your hand, presenting in front of people might make you nervous. If you experience the same shakes and sweats when you’re forced to talk in front of class or present an idea at your internship, you should check out the tips expert Darlene Price offers up.

Price, who authored Well Said! Presentations and Conversations That Get Results (Barnes & Noble, $21.95), offered a few tips to USA Today‘s Anita Bruzzese. Among them:

- Picture yourself, standing tall, in the space where you’ll be speaking.

- Use your webcam to record yourself saying ten positive statements about yourself (like, “I am confident,” and “I am in touch with my audience”). Say them over and over until you feel confident. Then, watch the video.

- Memorize your opening so that you can easily make eye contact with the audience.

- Pretty quickly, get the audience involved. Ask them questions they have to raise their hands to answer, etc.

- Rosella Eleanor LaFevre

Lucky Enough to Be Young and Employed? Start a Roth IRA

Did you recently graduate from college and got the job of your dreams, despite all obstacles? First of all, congratulations! I’m a little jealous. Especially if you’ve got money leftover after rent, bills and student loans… Just in case you’re one of the 5 people this applies to (this is not a real statistic; I’m not in school to be a statistician), then here’s some advice: Start a Roth IRA.

Again, I’m not in school to be a statistician or accountant or anything that hollowed, so don’t take it from me. Take it from USA Today’s John Waggoner, who wrote an article outlining the benefits of a Roth IRA and telling you which one to pick depending on how risk-averse you are.

“Your best bet — assuming you’re willing to take some risk — is an IRA at a discount brokerage house, such as Schwab, or E-Trade, or a mutual fund company,” Waggoner writes.

So check it out. And when you’re old and retired and you’ve got a small pile of money, you can thank me for sharing this with you. Cash and presents will be accepted. - Rosella Eleanor LaFevre

BELLE’S GUIDE: Advice from Career Coach Julie Cohen

Welcome to Belle’s Guide to Work & Life, a biweekly column written by Belle Rose. The column will run every other Thursday and cover topics like how to behave in the workplace. You can follow Belle by visiting her blog or adding her on Facebook.

For many of us, the month of August signals the end of a carefree summer and a transition into the school year. Whether you are a teacher like myself, a student, or have students at home, this month is usually full of excitement and nervousness. Although there are still a few beautiful days left to be enjoyed, most of us are spending them preparing to go back to the grind. The days become shorter, to-do lists get longer, and there is less time for rest and relaxation. It’s a continuous conundrum. How do we live enjoyable, fulfilling lives with so many other responsibilities needing our attention?

To answer this question, I enlisted the help of Professional Career Coach Julie Cohen. She is the author of Your Work, Your Life… Your Way and has helped hundreds of clients on the road to successful, balanced lives.

When surveying her clients’ needs, Cohen found that most professionals regardless of age worried about the topic. “No matter what they came to me for, mostly everyone had issues with work-life balance,” she says. So, what is work-life balance and how do we know if we’re achieving a healthy proportion?

“There isn’t one definition of work-life balance,” Cohen begins. “It’s critical that the individual defines what that means to them. It’s very unique.”

According to Cohen, there are two myths: one, that there is a concrete definition of work-life balance, and second, that there is a uniform way to evaluate your progress.

“What I want for everyone is an overall feeling of personal and professional satisfaction,” Cohen says. “So, if we’re aware of our preferences and challenges that we might have, we can make deliberate choices that can move us toward that more balanced state.”

You must have a clear vision of what balanced means to you. Maybe this means spending more time with friends, getting to the gym three times a week, or eating a healthy diet. “When they have that vision, that’s where we start looking at the gap between where they are now and where they want to be. Then in the coaching process we look at what’s preventing them from moving in that direction,” Cohen says.

In her book, Cohen discusses what she calls the “7 Keys to Work-Life Balance.” They include things like being clear in your priorities, setting boundaries, and engaging in self care. One thing you can do to have a healthier work-life balance today is to look at how you take care of yourself, Cohen says. If exercising, eating healthy, or seeing friends is essential to your work-life balance, make it a priority.

“We need to be well in order to do all that we need to do,” she says. Many assume that pouring everything into your work without taking care of yourself will lead to better work when in fact, the opposite is usually true. Becoming a better you always leads to better work.

As the summer is winding down and football season is just around the corner, I challenge you all to think about your definition of a balanced life. What is your vision? I also recommend you pick up Julie Cohen’s book Your Work, Your Life… Your Way to find more tips to enhance your own work-life balance. As for me, I’ll be soaking up the last of the sunshine and setting my own goals for the upcoming school year.

LISTS: 3 Awesome Handmade School Supplies

Nothing excites me more than brand new school supplies. Only, now I’d rather get handmade supplies from a hardworking artist than go to Staples or OfficeMax for generic products that everyone else has. Here are three items I found on Etsy that have me salivating! - Rosella Eleanor LaFevre

Personalized Chevron Flat Notecards – $8.75Living away from home? You really should write your grandmother a note every now and then. These notecards have a chevron (zig zag, really) design on top and your name at the bottom. Very chic, melindayingling.

Handbook for the Recently Deceased Journal – $29.95

This blank journal is made by Etsy seller n3do, and looks just how I remember the Beetlejuice prop. It’s a little pricey but can you imagine how cool it would be to take notes in your Philosophy of the Afterlife class in this journal? Pssh. Sign me up!

Personalized Zebra Computer Sleeve – $27.95

How cute is this computer case made by Etsy user BeachyMommas?

Picture it: there you are in the student center or the computer lab and you realize everyone has the very same computer you do. But lucky you, instead of some generic black computer case, you’ve got this flashy sleeve with your very own initials embroidered on the flap. Now you’re set (apart), baby!

BELLE’S GUIDE: Try These 5-Minute Mood Boosters!

Welcome to Belle’s Guide to Work & Life, a biweekly column written by Belle Rose. The column will run every other Thursday and cover topics like how to behave in the workplace. You can follow Belle by adding her on Facebook.

One of my favorite mantras goes like this: “Do something valuable today. You are exchanging one day of your life for it.”

Last Tuesday morning I was awakened by a mind-numbing, eye-torturing migraine. Everything hurt: my head, my neck, even my teeth. My only motivation for getting myself up was to wash the pain away with a strong cup of coffee, but when I removed the pot to fill it with water I realized that the $9 machine I purchased from Target was broken. In hindsight I’m not surprised even though I had bragged about my bargain, but I was certainly angry in the moment. Determined not to let this ruin my day, I took two Excedrin Migraine, showered, and drove myself through Dunkin Donuts for a quick fix. The day was looking up. As the bell rang to signal first period and students would soon be entering my classroom, I noticed beads of sweat forming on my forehead. The air conditioning was broken.

Ever have mornings like these? It seems as if everything goes wrong. Every time you see a little light at the end of the tunnel, it’s crushed by an oncoming train. By the end of that day, I wanted to hit stop, rewind, and do it all over again no matter what the butterfly effect would be. Everything about that morning was just off. I didn’t want to do anything valuable. I wanted a complete redo. Unfortunately, the nature of most of our jobs leaves little time to regroup when we’re feeling frazzled. Most of us are expected to be bright-eyed and smiling all day. In my case, one hint at a bad mood evokes a chorus of thirty students asking, “What’s wrong?!”

Here are a few ideas to brighten your mood when you only have five minutes.

1. Pour yourself a cup of hot tea. Spend five uninterrupted minutes breathing in the aroma and allowing the warm liquid to soothe your soul.
2. On a sheet of paper, list five things you are grateful for or five things you are looking forward to. If you have time, do both. A simple exercise in gratitude will help your brain to fire feel-good chemicals and reduce the stress-producing ones.
3. Turn on one of your favorite upbeat songs. Sing and dance the stress away! If you can’t manage this due to space or sound restraints, a good pair of headphones and visualization goes a long way. It truly is the thought that counts.
4. Close your eyes. Acknowledge the fact that you had a bad morning and then gently remind yourself that you are more than capable of making the rest of the day productive. Give yourself three reasons why you are competent and three ways in which the day is going to get better. Speak to yourself as you would a good friend. Do not bash yourself. Sometimes a refreshing pep talk is all you need and often you have to be the one to deliver it.
5. If the above fails, visit Pinterest and view the ‘Animals’ category.

After completing one of these five things, you should be good as new. Remember, your day is too valuable to spend the entire thing in a bad mood. Migraines happen, coffee pots break, but that doesn’t mean you have to exchange an entire day of your life for it.

Your turn! What do you do when you have only five minutes to modify your mood?

Successful People Use Their Mornings Well

By Rosella Eleanor LaFevre

Look, I get it. Waking up sucks. Who wants to get out of their nice, cozy bed and head out the door to class or work? Certainly not this chick.

I set my work schedule so I don’t have to get up any earlier than 9 a.m. and most mornings, I reset my alarm for 9:50 a.m., giving me just a few minutes to get up, get dressed and get to the bus stop.

But maybe I go about this all wrong. Maybe I should get up early, read a few newspapers online and figure out what I need to accomplish during the day.

Laura Vanderkam, a journalist and author who writes about time management and finding career success, wrote What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast, which was published as an eBook by Penguin. An excerpt of her book has been published by FastCompany.com.

“That is ultimately the amazing thing about mornings–they always feel like a new chance to do things right,” writes Vanderkam. “A win scored then creates a cascade of success. The hopeful hours before most people eat breakfast are too precious to be blown on semiconscious activities. You can do a lot with those hours. Whenever I’m tempted to say I don’t have time for something, I remind myself that if I wanted to get up early, I could. These hours are available to all of us if we choose to use them.”

Now I feel inspired, like I need to get up early and dress for battle before most people are even eating breakfast. Tomorrow? I’ll probably hit the damn snooze button until I’m running out the door.

Do you think you’ll try updating your morning ritual to boost your chances of success?

[Image: Flickr user Arvind Grover]

BELLE’S GUIDE: Tying on That Pink, Sparkly Cape

Welcome to Belle’s Guide to Work & Life, a biweekly column written by Belle Rose. The column will run every other Thursday and cover topics like how to behave in the workplace. This is Belle’s first post.

Women have come a long way since the days of baking pies and picketing. Some still love to bake and some continue to fight for the causes they believe in. The wonderful thing about the evolution of the modern woman is that you have the ability to choose. Women are no longer restricted to the kitchen. We have our own voices. We make our own rules.

Times have changed drastically since the days of Alice Paul. While she was looked upon as an anomaly for not marrying or having children, it is now far more common that women are choosing to delay these milestones- if they decide to indulge them at all. I am a 27-year old inner-city school teacher. I’m not married, nor do I have children, but I do have a career. Do I want those things someday? Absolutely! But in these trying times, simply wanting to be a homemaker does not make it a reality. Women who choose to marry and have children are not always afforded the opportunity to stay at home to raise them. These are the challenges we face as women of the twenty-first century. So while I won’t be able to tell you the best brands of baby formula or where to take your honeymoon, right now I can share with you what I do know: how to navigate the workplace.

I began my working life at 12, when I got a job as a paper girl. After that, I held a regular series of part-time, dues-paying jobs until I finished my degree and began my career five years ago. Although I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs, it has been a great experience. I have met so many positive, motivated women who have guided me along my journey. Their wisdom and dedication inspire me daily.

Being a young woman in the work force can be difficult. You must walk a fine line between delicate and demanding. If you’re too delicate, you’re seen as weak and if you’re too demanding, you’re seen as masculine. It is an unfortunate double-standard which most of us have faced, but it is one that can be successfully overcome. I believe most of us have the innate desire to please those around us. In my large Italian family, we do that with food. The more you mangia, the more you care. In the workplace, many women fall into that trap by accepting extra responsibilities. We tie on our pink, sparkly capes and dive into the workforce head on. The truth is, this behavior only leads to burnout.

This feature will serve as a bridge between those of you who are desperately trying to get your foot in the door and my own experiences which will always make sure your feet are firmly planted before trying to enter. I will draw upon my knowledge and others to help all of you motivated young women ease your way into the work place. Please feel free to ask questions, suggest topics, or just chat with me if you’d like by leaving comments, adding me on my Facebook account, or sending me an e-mail. I look forward to all of the things we will learn from each other.

Write for Us! We Pay in Kisses and Clips

Hey there, writers!

M.L.T.S. Magazine is looking for talented journalists to commit to contributing weekly or biweekly columns to be published on the magazine’s blog. Writers will also be able to write for the quarterly magazine.

In case you’re just discovering us, M.L.T.S. is daily blog and quarterly magazine that publishes lifestyle, education and career topics for young women who are ambitious and actively pursuing their goals.

Weekly columns fall under one of the following categories: Most Informed (news), Most Stylish, Most Beautiful, Most Loved, Most Entertaining (movies, TV, music, books) and Most Valuable (education & careers).

Previous and current columns include Full Body Detail (covered health and wellness), My Busiest Year (about the writer juggling all her commitments) and My Pleasure (about sex and relationships).

As I’m both a broke journalism student and the sole force behind M.L.T.S., I can’t pay my writers yet. The perks of the job include:

• Clips to bolster your portfolio
• Occasional freebies
• In-roads to people you might not otherwise meet
• My undying gratitude and respect

To apply, please send your column idea, along with a resume and at least one writing sample. I’m accepting applications at mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

Then again, if you’re just looking to contribute once or twice and can’t commit to a whole column, you can contribute to the following columns:

• Confessions: Have something you need to get off your chest? Write it up (anywhere between 300 – 700 words works for us) and send it to us. It can be about anything and you can write it anonymously. Our chief concern with installments for this column? Brutal honesty and evocative, exciting prose. Submit a full piece or a pitch and a writing sample to us via email.
• Love Lessons: Each of these short essays (100 – 250 words) focuses on a single thing that can make or break a relationship. Examples: “Vulnerability is Key” and “Shared Interests Aren’t Everything.” Focus on clarity and being concise. If interested in sharing a Love Lesson, please include the full text in your email.

We’ll be launching these multi-authored columns within the next week and will probably come up with a few others. If you have submissions for either, email them to us at mlts.magazine@gmail.com. Be sure to include the name of the column you’re hoping to contribute to in the subject line of your email. Thanks, lovelies!