By Nichole Fray
As of late, I’ve watched and experienced a lot of friendships/relationships break up due to the reason that something or someone involved changed. This may be true, but a misunderstanding arises when change is confused with growth or lack thereof. You have to ask yourself what actually did change? Was it them? Was it me? Or did they just grow as a person and I failed to do so?
When minor changes occur in a person, they are a sign of growth, and maturity, not change. So they don’t “act” exactly how they used to, or maybe they don’t like to argue anymore because they realized its pointless; that is NOT change.
Looking at friendships, there is always a difference between those who went to school out of state and those who stayed home for school. In most not all cases those who stayed home think we who have left have changed. Why is that? It’s because we’ve seen a world beyond this place we call home, we’ve experienced people who do things differently, and our minds have opened that much more. We haven’t changed, we’ve grown.
We as people cannot stay the same it’s impossible. We’re obviously not the same people we started off in this world being. For some high school was the boundary of growth and those people will never change. For others college was just the beginning and years from now things about them will change from what they are now. We have to change to grow and grow to change; its life. You see changing doesn’t mean to reinvent yourself, creating this false identity of something or someone you’re not. Change is reflecting on the things about yourself and the relationships you encounter, looking at what needs to be fixed, and fixing them. Once you take that time to re-evaluate who it is you are and where you want to go, that is when growth occurs.
We’re all guilty of accusing one person or the other of acting brand new or changing. But from now on before we do that make sure we look at the person and think, have they really changed or have they grown? Do I think they’ve changed because I’ve failed to grow?
Your true friends wont say you’ve changed, they won’t notice anything new because they’ll be growing with you. The same goes relationship wise, if you think your significant other has changed maybe its because they’re not on the same level in the relationship you are. While time went on and you figured things were moving to the next level, perhaps they got comfortable and remained stagnant levels behind. In this case you were the one that really changed, you grew, and they failed to.
My point is change and growth essentially go hand in hand, but when examined individually you learn to see the difference. Always ask yourself did I really change or did I grow? Did they grow with me or not, and is this why they think I’ve changed?
Change is needed, change is good, just make sure your reasons for changing are valid, make sure you changed in order to grow……….