The Art of Settling

By Nichole Fray

The art of settling is so rooted into our everyday lives that we don’t even realize when we ourselves have become the painting on display in the art gallery.

Often times we find ourselves, or put ourselves rather, in situations where we are forced to settle for something less than what we wanted. There has to come a point where we stop selling ourselves short of what we want and deserve. You should never feel forced to keep yourself in a situation for the sake of settling because things seem ok for the moment. A moment is just that, a moment, and what happens when that moment has passed?

We settle in all aspects of life. We settle for jobs we hate because they pay, we settle for bullshit relationships just to keep the person in our lives, we settle for half ass grades because we gave up on putting in the effort to exceed expectations. Why?

For purposes of this blog I will focus on the aspect of settling in relationships; this is not limited to relationships that have a title to them. You should never feel the need to settle for something you didn’t want or bargain for out of a relationship for the sake of someone else. If they cant give you what you want or are not willing to give you what you want, why settle for that? We settle for the sake of keeping people around that we’re afraid of losing. These people know they won’t lose you though because they know you’re going to settle. Yea you told them what you wanted out of this, you told them what you wanted to happen but yet you’re still stuck in the same place as before and you’re allowing it to happen. Remind yourself that you owe yourself better. Too many times have I seen people compromise themselves for someone not even worth it, and of course I myself have done it. Nothing is ever more important than what you want or how you feel, and would the other person ever settle for you?

Think about it…….you give them what they want because you’re choosing to settle, but what happens when you stop??? What happens when you decide until they give you what you want they won’t get anything….do you think they’ll wait around? No. You’ve created a comfortable situation for them allowing them to use you for the sake of any and everything but YOURSELF.

Know your worth and charge anyone who wants to be in your life the FULL price, not 50 % off

photo: http://ttown30something.blogspot.com/2011/01/on-line-dating.html

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