By Nichole Fray
So let’s talk about the idea of a relationship between two people that involves no commitment.
It appears as if today this no commitment thing is becoming the standard for actual “relationships,” and it bothers me. After how long of talking to one person and spending time with one person do you know that you want to be with them? Let’s be clear I am by no means implying that this means a walk down the aisle; you see too many people view relationships as marriage. By committing to someone does not mean that you are giving them the rest of your life, at least by relationship standards. It simply means you’re going to be with that person and only that person as long as the relationship lasts. If you’re being “exclusive” with them, then you might as well commit I mean, what’s the difference?
I’ll tell you what the difference is…….the title. Nobody wants to give the title. The title is merely the label that makes the relationship official. When I say official I don’t mean that the title is the only thing that makes the relationship authentic, it just shows that you want people to know you’re with that person and you don’t care if they do. It shows that you’re serious about being with that one person. No title is an excuse for you to be exclusive with one person and still do your thing on the side, knowing it will be hard for the other person to object because you have no obligation to them.
I’ve been told that titles are corny, immature, and that they complicate things. But it is with my experience that I’ve discovered it’s when no title exists that these problems occur. There’s too many loop holes and questions. You end up asking yourself, “Well do I have the right to get mad since I’m not his girlfriend?’ or , “Should i really be stuck with this one person if I’m not his girlfriend?” the list is never ending.
To me no commitment is immature and its not fair to the other person, especially if you’ve been talking to them for a long period of time. The whole idea of getting to know someone and spending time with them is essentially to find out if you like them, if you two are compatible. And once that is discovered and months on end have passed its time for the next step. There is no point in talking to someone for a year plus to stay in the same place on the same level you started at when you first met them; that is a waste if time.
Just remember folks, after talking to someone for a good amount of time you and really wanna be with them, commit. Let me remind you, if they get tired of playing the “shorty” role for too long they’ll find someone who will want them to play the girlfriend role. Trust me.
Photo Courtesy of Hank’s Think Tank