Dreaded Seasonal Closet Cleaning

So today folks was supposed to be the day that I cleaned out my closets, got rid of the clothes of summer by either donating them or packing them for next year, putting all my shoes in their respective boxes and switching out my Fall/Winter shoes with my summer sandals. Needless to say, not all of that happened.  The only thing I accomplished was cleaning out the closet, which seems to have purged itself into the computer room.

I had every intention of separating it there, because it seemed easier. Not such a smart move, just the sight of it over whelmed me; so to relax I figured I could do one of two things: masturbate or shop online. I did both. Ebay is a girls best friend, but so are free porn sites. I found a few awesome pairs of shoes as well as a  designer handbag that I really did need. We all know that adding to a problem is so much better than solving it.

I texted my friends and asked them to help me. I went to Facebook and put in my status that I needed help sorting out this mess I had made, but I guess my friends don’t respond to me when I actually need help. They laughed at me actually. Then they yelled at me when they found out that I was sitting there shopping online. So maybe I have a problem but then again maybe I don’t. It’s a new season for fucks sake! I need clothes!

So here I sit in the middle of my mess surrounded  by Louboutins that need to go to storage, because I didn’t even wear them yet and have nothing to wear them with; summer dresses, sandals, pumps that I wont wear again until next year, pumps that I will never wear again, t-shirts, shorts, summer pajamas and new clothes complete with tags ready for the new season ( thank you Kohl’s… has anyone seen Jennifer Lopez’s clothing line there? It’s actually not bad. Her future ex husband has one there too, guys should check it out. Its super sexy.). The only thing that I have in order are my underwear because they are season-less,  although I must admit that I do still have a Victoria’s secret bag full of undies that the boyfriend guy bought  a week or so ago, so they don’t count.

The point of this rant is just to say I cant do this alone! I am being eaten alive by my wardrobe and it’s depressing just to look at it piled on the futon and in laundry baskets. Why did Narnia make Wardrobes look so appealing and endless? I wanna go the fuck to Narnia where I can just walk through my closet and be around talking Lions and a very fashionable Ice Queen. Anything beats this room right now!Especially a hot Queen and a Lion. Sounds kinky to me, I’m all for it.


2 responses to “Dreaded Seasonal Closet Cleaning

  1. You didn’t ask me! And if i didnt have class all day and go home, i would TOTES BAGOTES have helped! next time….

  2. almost every woman has this problem, but you got it the worst! i love the article it was love & comical to me! love you!

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