EDITOR’S NOTE: Stop Being So Apologetic

M.L.T.S. Magazine’s Editor-in-Chief Rosella Eleanor LaFevre checks in once a week to let you know what’s up with the magazine and addressing issues faced by motivated young women.

“Hey, this is Rosella. How are you? Good! I’m doing well. So is now a good time, because if not I can totally call you back later. I mean, really, you’re doing me a favor so I want to make sure I’m doing this at a time that’s convenient for you…. Oh, now’s okay? Great. Well, so thanks again for doing this. You’re saving my butt.” Sound familiar?

We really need to learn to get to the point, ladies.

As a journalist, I read a lot of different books, articles, and blogs about writing. One of my favorites is Carol Tice’s Make a Living Writing and the other day she posted a guest post called, “The Writing Revelation That Changed How I View Myself as a Freelancer.” In it, writer Marya Jan asserts, “Be businesslike. And stop apologizing.”

At my day job, there are people who come to me, usually women, and say, “Hi, How are you, I–Are you–Do you have a moment? I need blah, blah, blah, I mean, I’m really sorry to bother you, but could you help?” I always want to smack these people silly. Just tell me what you need and be done with it, I want to tell them.

In talking with a coworker about the side business she’s launching as an event planner, we both concluded that we can’t apologize for ourselves. If we’re going to be taken seriously, we need to respect ourselves and believe that we’re not wasting people’s time.

So what is it that you’re apologizing for? Stop it!

Spit it out; whatever you need done or whatever you’re trying to sell, believe in yourself. Of course, thank people for their time, but the worst way to thank them is by hemming and hawing your way through a conversation.

If you’re dealing with someone in person, stand or sit up straight, make eye contact and speak in a firm tone of voice. If you’re on the phone, get quickly to the point. Through email, same thing.

Do you think a man apologizes when he’s just doing his job or when his rent money depends on getting a job or making that sale? Hell no. Men are blunt and unapologetic. (Ever notice how your brothers, boyfriends and guy friends wince when you say you’re sorry for something?)

Believe in your product, your message, yourself.

Go get ’em, girls!

As far as this week’s content, tomorrow we’ll start our biweekly Home Stylish Home column with inspiration and DIY ideas for home decor that will hopefully work whether you live in your childhood bedroom, a dorm or an apartment. Then we’ve got Cary Carr’s Love Smudged, Amanda Van Slyke’s My Pleasure, Mad Mani, Belle’s Guide to Life & Work, another Love Lesson, and Friday Finds.

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