Category Archives: Most Loved

Miranda Kerr’s Got the Rx for Your Relationship Problems

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom

Read on for Miranda Kerr’s advice on keeping your man interested. (Barf bags are not included.)

Dunno how I missed this earlier, but apparently, Miranda Kerr — she of the Victoria’s Secret fame who married Orlando Bloom and refused to let him leave the room while delivering his spawn — shared her relationship advice on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson earlier this month.

“My grandma said, ‘Men are very visual, so don’t forget that,'” Miranda said. “She said, ‘Every day, put a little makeup on, put on some nice underwear, and you’ll keep your husband.'”

I know you’ve heard the argument against such sexist notions before. It’s insanely ridiculous to tell an audience that you can “keep” your man if you look good enough, as if to say that should he cheat on you or break up with/divorce you, it’s your own damn fault. Yeah, you lazy good-for-nothing opposite-of-a-hottie.

Well, the quote kind of got Cosmopolitan’s Korin Miller wondering. In her blog post on December 5, she posed the question: “[W]hat do guys do for us to bring the sexy?”

She continued, writing, “We mean, most try to seduce us in grotty old boxers and have zero qualms about downing garlic bread before a makeout session, while we repeatedly whip out matching lingerie and avoid stinky foods to keep things hot.”

Honestly, I don’t even make that much of an effort. Sure, I dress up for work, and I take pride in having beautiful hair, but I also love garlic more than any other spice on this green earth. And he of the “grotty old boxers” doesn’t get super fancy lingerie because, guess what? I don’t get freebies from my day job as a super model. I can’t afford $6-a-pop lace panties. Sorry.
So yeah, he’s just got to love me the way I am. If he’s not turned on by the sight of my tight, plump butt in a light blue cotton panty, then it’s not on me. So please, Miranda Kerr, you who probably wake up looking like a goddess, shut up about how we mere mortals can keep our men. Ugh.
-Rosella Eleanor LaFevre
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LOVE LESSON: Say Those Three Little(BIG) Words

This is our “Love Lessons” column. Every week, we publish a mini-essay (100-250 words) about a single thing that can make or break a relationship. To submit your own entry, email mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I loveses you. I luz you.

There are a million ways to say it. A million ways to express the deep care, respect and attraction you feel for your significant other.

My boyfriend and I say, “I love you,” a lot. Sometimes we say it five times in an hour. With grins on our faces, we take a second or two to express our love every fairly often.

Sure, there are days when we don’t say it as often. Maybe because we’re tired or lost in our own respective hobbies. But when we say it, we mean it. And it has played a part, I’m sure, in helping us forge the incredible bond we have.

[Text & Picture by Rosella Eleanor LaFevre]

Love Smudged: Can we forgive?

Is anyone else sick and tired of hearing about K Stew’s nasty cheating scandal? I mean, yeah, we live in a culture where stars’ lives seem to be intertwined with our own (just count the number of celeb gossip sites that are out there), but how long can one incident of cheating be dragged out?

But if anything, the longevity of both our curiosity in and devastation over the not so snow white incident says one important thing – lies and hidden secrets in a relationship cause damage that lasts way into the relationship. In fact, I would argue that most of the time, despite forgiveness, it’s just too damn hard to forget.

Now, I’m not naïve. I realize that when you’re in a long term relationship, people screw up. It’s impossible to be perfect. But the occasional fuck-up like forgetting to call or missing an anniversary is way different than flirting/dating/sleeping with the opposite (or same) sex. That type of betrayal just breeds a shaky trust foundation, some level of paranoia and occasionally self-esteem woes.

I’m no stranger to the whole getting cheated on thing. My first love, and we’re talking puppy dog romance, false promises of staying together forever, make your friends sick kind of love, broke my heart six months into the relationship. After snooping through his MySpace (flashback anyone?), I found a disturbing message from a girl who seemed hell-bent on continuing their sexual rendezvous.

How’d I react? Well, after punching him and cursing him out on the street – a slight stray from my usual classy behavior – and some serious crying in bed, I took him back. Problem? I couldn’t forgive him. Despite how crazy stupid in love I was with him, the thought of him in bed with another girl took over my thoughts. Result? Our relationship totally crumbled, and six months later he cheated again with a different girl.

And now, years later, when I thought the whole being dishonest in a relationship thing was a part of my distant past, I find myself in a similar situation. While my boyfriend and I have never cheated, we’ve both been guilty of texting members of the opposite sex. Innocent? Yes, definitely, but does that really make it any better? Neither of us should have been sneaking cell phone conversations, and in the end, we both got caught.

So now, over a year into our relationship, we still struggle with some serious trust issues. Although I believe that my beau does love me unconditionally, the fear that he might find someone else still lurks in the back of my mind, and a big part of my insecurities can be attributed to my first heartbreak. Will I ever truly get over getting cheated on and having my heart chewed up, spit out and chewed back up again?

I’m still waiting to find someone who has been cheated on in a healthy relationship, free of any weird trust issues. Maybe if I did, it would give me hope that there is such a thing as truly getting over the feeling of being not quite good enough. Until then, I guess I’ll join the rest of the population and wait to see how things turn out with the Twilight lovers. Part of me hopes they’ll make it work, but part of me things that might just be impossible.

LOVE LESSON: Grow Old and Disgusting Together?

This is our “Love Lessons” column. Every week, we publish a mini-essay (100-250 words) about a single thing that can make or break a relationship. To submit your own entry, email mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

“I want to grow old loving you.”

This was the sentiment of one of the more romantic Valentine’s Day cards I saw at Rite-Aid on my first V-Day with Chris. I wanted to buy it because even then, I felt that way about my boyfriend, with whom I had been for about a year at that point. But then, feeling that way and saying it out loud (or even in a card) are very different concepts.

Most girls, I think, myself included, are scared to actually share these words with our boyfriends. What if he thinks I’m crazy? Or, What if he doesn’t feel the same way? Many of these are the same doubts that arise when we consider saying those three words, “I love you.”

And certainly, our parents would think we’re crazy. Who could know what they would want something for the rest of their lives?

Well. I think these excuses are a bunch of hooey. You should have this conversation with your significant other. I wouldn’t say that you should let the outcome of the conversation make or break your relationship, but it’s important to know where you stand if you think that you might want to spend the rest of your life with this person.

I had this conversation with my guy. “Do you want to marry me and have babies with me?” I asked when I was a little more tipsy than I’d like to admit. I’m not going to tell you what my baby said, but it’s good that I know how he feels. – Rosella Eleanor LaFevre

[photo from Think Geek]

LOVE LESSON: Don’t Text Your Way to a Break-Up

This is our “Love Lessons” column. Every week, we publish a mini-essay (100-250 words) about a single thing that can make or break a relationship. To submit your own entry, email mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

Photo from Wikipedia

Communication has truly evolved. We have so many ways to express ourselves and connect. From Facebook and Twitter, to blogging and texting, we can instantly reach out and say what’s on our minds. But just because we can, doesn’t mean we should. Instant communication may not be the best medium, especially where romantic relationships are concerned. One small text can turn one small issue into the mother lode of all fights. No matter how many smiley faces or little hearts you add in, texts are often misconstrued because they lack that face-to-face interaction where you pick up on emotion, body language, humour, and so many other subtleties for which we humans are known.  If something is important enough to discuss, it should be important enough to wait until you are able to have an in-person conversation.  While it may be difficult sometimes to broach certain topics or discuss your feelings, face-to-face communication gives you what every relationship needs: connection. Eyes, faces, bodies, emotions : no smiley faces or little hearts needed because it’s all there in front of you. Plus, when it comes to making up, I’d pick a real kiss over a virtual one any day. – Brenda LePage

LOVE LESSON: Don’t Meet Up with Your Ex

This is our “Love Lessons” column. Every week, we publish a mini-essay (100-250 words) about a single thing that can make or break a relationship. To submit your own entry, email mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

If you meet up again post-break up, it’ll make it all the much harder to let go.

“He your boyfriend?” Dominique asked.

“Was,” the young co-ed said with a wistful smile at the guy in question. “Once upon a time.”

“Once upon a time,” Dominique repeated, watching while the once-upon-a-time-boyfriend, leaning forward. The young woman leaned into him, their foreheads almost touching as they stared into each other’s eyes.

What Dominique didn’t know was this was the first time the two kids saw each other since that tearful phone conversation that ended their brief, but undoubtedly intense, union.

That was the first time she saw her ex in over 2 months and all of those feelings she had for him which had laid unresolved, the algae on the fish tank of my heart, bubbled to the surface. It caused nothing but hurt and confusion.

They never got back together (for many reasons) and until she found the perfect guy, she thought about this one, wasting all that energy wondering, Should I have gotten back together with him? Most often, the truth is if you were meant to be together, you never would have broken up in the first place.

Don’t meet up with your ex. It’s just a recipe for trouble. – Rosella Eleanor LaFevre

LOVE LESSON: Real Lovers Are Silly

Smiling lesbian couple shot by Bianca Crespo

Real lovers know how to laugh together, says writer Rae Bradley. (All photo rights belong to photographer Bianca Crespo)

“Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly,” Rose Franken said.

There’s only so much passion a couple can have. I’m not saying you can’t have a lot, but there is a balance that’s required to make it work, as with anything in life. I really think Ms. Franken was onto something. You can be as serious, romantic, and passionate as you want; just make sure you have a good laugh while you’re at it.

My boyfriend Jon and I have been together for three years and three months now. We’ve had our bumps and awkward moments, but it’s never deterred us from being able to laugh at the situation (or each other). Obviously, some moments are more sensitive than others, and handling them accordingly is not only appropriate, but necessary. However, looking back, there has been a surplus of moments that could have turned sour, if not for our ability to throw a little humor into them.

One of the major reasons I fell in love with Jon was his ability to make me smile and laugh. Even now, there isn’t a day that goes by that he fails at that. And yes, admittedly, we have pet names for each other. We are that couple that friends call us “disgustingly cute.” I’ll be the first to say, frankly, we are ridiculous—but it has never gotten out of hand or in the way of important matters. I think our “silliness” is what has kept us so close all these years. And honestly… I wouldn’t change it a bit. – Rae Bradley