Category Archives: Love Lessons

LOVE LESSON: Say Those Three Little(BIG) Words

This is our “Love Lessons” column. Every week, we publish a mini-essay (100-250 words) about a single thing that can make or break a relationship. To submit your own entry, email mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I loveses you. I luz you.

There are a million ways to say it. A million ways to express the deep care, respect and attraction you feel for your significant other.

My boyfriend and I say, “I love you,” a lot. Sometimes we say it five times in an hour. With grins on our faces, we take a second or two to express our love every fairly often.

Sure, there are days when we don’t say it as often. Maybe because we’re tired or lost in our own respective hobbies. But when we say it, we mean it. And it has played a part, I’m sure, in helping us forge the incredible bond we have.

[Text & Picture by Rosella Eleanor LaFevre]

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LOVE LESSON: Grow Old and Disgusting Together?

This is our “Love Lessons” column. Every week, we publish a mini-essay (100-250 words) about a single thing that can make or break a relationship. To submit your own entry, email mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

“I want to grow old loving you.”

This was the sentiment of one of the more romantic Valentine’s Day cards I saw at Rite-Aid on my first V-Day with Chris. I wanted to buy it because even then, I felt that way about my boyfriend, with whom I had been for about a year at that point. But then, feeling that way and saying it out loud (or even in a card) are very different concepts.

Most girls, I think, myself included, are scared to actually share these words with our boyfriends. What if he thinks I’m crazy? Or, What if he doesn’t feel the same way? Many of these are the same doubts that arise when we consider saying those three words, “I love you.”

And certainly, our parents would think we’re crazy. Who could know what they would want something for the rest of their lives?

Well. I think these excuses are a bunch of hooey. You should have this conversation with your significant other. I wouldn’t say that you should let the outcome of the conversation make or break your relationship, but it’s important to know where you stand if you think that you might want to spend the rest of your life with this person.

I had this conversation with my guy. “Do you want to marry me and have babies with me?” I asked when I was a little more tipsy than I’d like to admit. I’m not going to tell you what my baby said, but it’s good that I know how he feels. – Rosella Eleanor LaFevre

[photo from Think Geek]

LOVE LESSON: Don’t Text Your Way to a Break-Up

This is our “Love Lessons” column. Every week, we publish a mini-essay (100-250 words) about a single thing that can make or break a relationship. To submit your own entry, email mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

Photo from Wikipedia

Communication has truly evolved. We have so many ways to express ourselves and connect. From Facebook and Twitter, to blogging and texting, we can instantly reach out and say what’s on our minds. But just because we can, doesn’t mean we should. Instant communication may not be the best medium, especially where romantic relationships are concerned. One small text can turn one small issue into the mother lode of all fights. No matter how many smiley faces or little hearts you add in, texts are often misconstrued because they lack that face-to-face interaction where you pick up on emotion, body language, humour, and so many other subtleties for which we humans are known.  If something is important enough to discuss, it should be important enough to wait until you are able to have an in-person conversation.  While it may be difficult sometimes to broach certain topics or discuss your feelings, face-to-face communication gives you what every relationship needs: connection. Eyes, faces, bodies, emotions : no smiley faces or little hearts needed because it’s all there in front of you. Plus, when it comes to making up, I’d pick a real kiss over a virtual one any day. – Brenda LePage

LOVE LESSON: Don’t Meet Up with Your Ex

This is our “Love Lessons” column. Every week, we publish a mini-essay (100-250 words) about a single thing that can make or break a relationship. To submit your own entry, email mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

If you meet up again post-break up, it’ll make it all the much harder to let go.

“He your boyfriend?” Dominique asked.

“Was,” the young co-ed said with a wistful smile at the guy in question. “Once upon a time.”

“Once upon a time,” Dominique repeated, watching while the once-upon-a-time-boyfriend, leaning forward. The young woman leaned into him, their foreheads almost touching as they stared into each other’s eyes.

What Dominique didn’t know was this was the first time the two kids saw each other since that tearful phone conversation that ended their brief, but undoubtedly intense, union.

That was the first time she saw her ex in over 2 months and all of those feelings she had for him which had laid unresolved, the algae on the fish tank of my heart, bubbled to the surface. It caused nothing but hurt and confusion.

They never got back together (for many reasons) and until she found the perfect guy, she thought about this one, wasting all that energy wondering, Should I have gotten back together with him? Most often, the truth is if you were meant to be together, you never would have broken up in the first place.

Don’t meet up with your ex. It’s just a recipe for trouble. – Rosella Eleanor LaFevre

LOVE LESSON: Real Lovers Are Silly

Smiling lesbian couple shot by Bianca Crespo

Real lovers know how to laugh together, says writer Rae Bradley. (All photo rights belong to photographer Bianca Crespo)

“Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly,” Rose Franken said.

There’s only so much passion a couple can have. I’m not saying you can’t have a lot, but there is a balance that’s required to make it work, as with anything in life. I really think Ms. Franken was onto something. You can be as serious, romantic, and passionate as you want; just make sure you have a good laugh while you’re at it.

My boyfriend Jon and I have been together for three years and three months now. We’ve had our bumps and awkward moments, but it’s never deterred us from being able to laugh at the situation (or each other). Obviously, some moments are more sensitive than others, and handling them accordingly is not only appropriate, but necessary. However, looking back, there has been a surplus of moments that could have turned sour, if not for our ability to throw a little humor into them.

One of the major reasons I fell in love with Jon was his ability to make me smile and laugh. Even now, there isn’t a day that goes by that he fails at that. And yes, admittedly, we have pet names for each other. We are that couple that friends call us “disgustingly cute.” I’ll be the first to say, frankly, we are ridiculous—but it has never gotten out of hand or in the way of important matters. I think our “silliness” is what has kept us so close all these years. And honestly… I wouldn’t change it a bit. – Rae Bradley

LOVE LESSON: Break Out of that Rut

This is the fifth installment of our “Love Lessons” column. Every week, we publish a mini-essay (100-250 words) about a single thing that can make or break a relationship. To submit your own entry, send an email to mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

Every weekend last year my boyfriend and I made our way to our favorite cheap Philadelphia eatery for create-your-own salads and buffalo burgers then we toured the shops on Walnut and eventually made our way back to the confines of his room to half watch a movie and happily fall asleep. Enjoyable? Yes. Comforting? Of course. But exciting? Clearly not.

And the more of a routine rut we fell into, the more we argued. We didn’t have anything interesting to recap on when our night was over, and there weren’t any new, life experiences for us to share together. The routine was quietly destroying our bond.

But when I moved to New York this summer, all of that changed. Each time we see each other, after obnoxiously long embraces, we have a new neighborhood to explore and adventures to embark on as a couple. And now, we have improved not only our conversations but also our bond.

So this weekend, instead of finding peace in comfort, make your love get out of that rut and experience something new with you. It makes a big difference, I promise. – Cary Carr

LOVE LESSON: Forget the Flaws or Move On

This is the fourth installment of our “Love Lessons” column. Every week, we publish a mini-essay (100-250 words) about a single thing that can make or break a relationship. To submit your own entry, send an email to mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

So your boyfriend forgot to turn off the lights when he left the house and when you got home the cat wasn’t fed and the son-of-a-bitch forgot to make the bed? Get over it. Focusing on someone’s flaws will indefinitely destroy your relationship, especially if you’re consistently throwing them in your partner’s face thereby making them feel like a bad puppy that just had a carpet-abolishing incident.

Now there’s some, shall we say, personality flaws that are simply unforgivable (i.e. anything that involves abuse, cheating, lying, etc.), but if you can’t let go of the little things than you’re not being fair to your mate. And, truth be told, none of us are perfect – excluding of course Ryan Gosling and George Clooney.

Instead of focusing on how annoyed you are, try focusing on the positive — like the fact that your partner is comfortable enough around you to be themself. Plus, those dorky character imperfections are what makes your sweetie multidimensional and – let’s face it — pretty comical. – Cary Carr